Bittersweet Symphony

Mmmk, so I really need to go to bed so I can wake up early and kill my research paper, but I need to talk this through because my mind is freaking out a little bit and I keep thinking about ONE thing.

Ready?

...I don't think you are.

Oookay, here goes:

I should probably begin by adding a disclaimer...
I am not looking for a boyfriend, husband, or anything of the like. I am actually content (for the first time in a long time) with being single and I am just waiting on the man God has for me.

SO I've kind of had this weird flirtationish? thing going on with a guy that works at the Tom Thumb like 5 minutes from my school...and by flirtation, I mean we exchange witty banter, sarcasm and insults along with other random nonsense. Where it came from? A late night trip to Tom Thumb in an effort to avoid studying. WELL, we got into this weird conversation and this guy is HILARIOUS. Well, the next time I went, I kind of looked for him and he was there, but my roommate and I ended up getting in another cashier's line beside his. So I was kind of bummed out because the last time was so funny and he ended up "accidentally" hitting my roommate with some bananas he was sacking for another customer (I say accidentally with quotes because I have this sneaking suspicion that it wasn't an accident) and it caused another hilarious conversation of sorts.
OH, and I asked Jacob Troutt, who works with him, about him and he said he was a really cool guy that wanted to be a missionary...so I'm thinkin this guy is pretty cool...
So tonight, I was at White Rhino working on my research paper thinking I'd be there until 1, but around 11 I thought my eyes might start bleeding if I stayed there any longer, so I packed up and headed out. Around that time, I started noticing that my legs were absolutely killing me. I get these leg cramps all the time and they are brutal. It kind of radiates from my knee, but it's kind of like my legs just feel exhausted and are extremely sore. Not completely sure if legs can feel exhausted, but mine do. Anyway, so I was on my way home when I thought, "if I'm going to stay up and do this paper anymore I'm going to need to get some bananas" because bananas have potassium, which, for some reason, helps with sore legs. Why? No clue. So I run by Tom Thumb because 1. it's closer 2. they're open until 1, so I know I can actually get some and 3. I have a rewards card there, so they'd be cheap!

Anyway, he ended up being there (of course?) and so it began.
Long story short (though it's a bit late for that), we talked for about an hour until he got off work. AND I found out he paints! AND he showed me some and they are GORGEOUS.

ANYWAY, so then I get home and decide stalk him a wee bit to find out more about him to see if he was worth being interested in. OH, and I should probably mention that I knew he was a little older just by his looks, but I was potentially willing to look past that if it were to turn into anything. Well, I'm REALLY glad I decided to creep because I found out this guy is THIRTY SIX. Count it: SIXTEEN YEARS OLDER THAN ME. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.....NO. So that's gonna have to stop dead in its tracks. Unless the Lord REALLY wants me to be with this guy, it's not gonna happen. I mean, I knew he was older, but GEEZE. Now, I should probably mention that it's not like this guy has "put the moves on" me or anything...we just harass one another when I go to Tom Thumb.

I just had to get that one off my chest. I just can't even comprehend that. Wow.


Big bowl of awkward.