oh, come and rescue me

I'm drowning here.

I don't feel happy...actually, quite the opposite. I am miserable.
Putting this silly smile on my face is getting harder and harder.
I'm breaking down. I'm scared.

I hate that I feel so rejected and misplaced. I hate that friends I felt were so close apparently don't feel the same. I hate that everything is imploding right now. I hate when people make drama when nothing is actually happening. I hate feeling like a failure. I hate feeling so insignificant and miniscule that I just want to sleep all day, every day.

I yearn for college. I need to get away from this place.
distance and closure...

My heart is bursting. I can't take these snide comments and apathetic behavior.


my anxiety is getting worse. I have at least 3 anxiety attacks a week and it's starting to take its toll.
I want an ounce of normalcy. I crave it.

God, please release me from this cage. Help me from this hole. I need You.