Hope To Carry On

I don't know what to do. My mom is in so much pain. I just can't comprehend why this is happening to her. Each day is so much worse. I don't know how my dad is handling it. Being here just a few days is killing me. She barely eats, stays in bed a lot, rarely sleeps, talks less and is quite irritable...that last one she can't really be blamed for; I'd be pretty fussy, too, if I were in constant pain. She describes it this way: "bite down on your tongue as hard as you possibly can...that's how I feel 24/7."

Tonight, my brother, his girlfriend and I came home after a night of sushi and movies (we saw Grown Ups...it was hilarious), we came home to find only one person awake: my mom. When we went into the office we found her sitting at the computer typing an email to a doctor, crying. It was horrible. I mean, horrible. This would be slightly more tolerable if we knew what was wrong...right now we're in this weird medical limbo. I can't begin to imagine what she's going through. I am so torn. Seeing her breaks my heart.

For a while we had some good news...one doctor was telling her things were looking a little better and she probably wouldn't need another biopsy, but then that doctor referred her to yet another doctor. I don't even know how many she's been to at this point. I know it's at least more than 5. Anyway, she had an appointment last week and they told her the biopsy she had 2 years ago had apparently been read incorrectly and that she is going to need another one. Mind you, they did not tell her what "incorrectly" meant. We don't know if that's good or bad...she doesn't have another appointment until July 27...my poor, poor mother. Friends, family, please pray for her.

She's quickly losing her patience, composure and strength.
Lord, can I give her mine?!
Father, heal her. Please.

I suppose there are good things going on as well...
These things make me smile


Tomorrow (erm, tonight) mom and I are going to see Wicked :)
I hope she feels up to it. My brother and I got her the tickets for Mother's Day :)

Random thought:
I love how Glinda (Galinda) is nothing like the actual character in this picture...Elphaba is pretty much spot on, but that is definitely not the Good Witch I know! haha

I think I'm also going to go see Lauren Smith a bit tomorrow. That'll be fun.

Wednesday I'm going to see Toy Story 3 with Miss Lindsay Landry :D

Thursday I think I'm going to the home group thing for the college ministry
and the rest is in the air...

Sunday I return back to Dallas.

Oh, and I finished another book today. It's called The Wednesday Letters. It was pretty good...it's hard to explain, though. Well, hard to explain without giving away the whole book. Mmm, maybe not. Here goes: this couple are old and die together in the very beginning (like, the first chapter), but before the man dies he writes this letter (because he dies on Wednesday). Anyway, we find that he has written her every wednesday since the day they were married (over 50 years at this point) and when they die, their 3 children are reuinited for the first time in a reeeeally long time and they are brought together when they find boxes upon boxes of these letters and find out family secrets and insight written within.

How's that for an explanation? I thought it was a good book, but I kind of feel like the whole book was mostly build-up and subplots that suddenly aligned and came together in the last 20 pages or so (of 280 pages total).

 I suppose I'd give it a 3.5 or 4 of 5.

With that being said, I've always been told I'm too lenient of a judge, haha.

...side note: I REALLY like the cover art. It's actually explained in the book. I thought it was just pretty, but it's minorly significant.