This is an extremely difficult blog for me to write, but I'll do my best. All my instincts are telling me I should just keep this to myself and share with a few, but I figure most of the people that read my blog are those who know and love me, so here goes nothing...er, something.
Friday I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I've been this way for a while, and while it may not seem like it all the time, I am. I mean, it's not necessarily because things are terrible or anything, but rather a hormone (or something like that) difficiency...it's genetic.
At first I just thought it was me being weird (though I was severely depressed all through junior high) because there's not really anything to be depressed about in my life, but I've noticed it getting worse. After explaining how I've been feeling to my counselor and doctor, they both said the same things: I have extreme symptoms that only seem to be getting worse.
Fortunately, now I'm on medication for the depression and anxiety and I should be getting better soon. I have an appointment (or need to make one) for next friday to see how my medicine is doing. My doctor said the meds will take a few weeks to really help anything - hormones are tricky like that - but I should get better soon.
I write this to ask for prayer. I'm scared and I feel like a freak. I feel like people are going to look at me and have this in the backs of their minds. I guess that's kind of okay, seeing how I'm explaining it, but I hope they can see me. I'm still me, I just need a little help. After a while I should be able to permanently get off the medicine and the hormone fix should be permanent. This is a difficult thing for me to deal with, and I just need you guys to be there :)
with love,
Erin
No comments:
Post a Comment