feeling new to the world?

So I was going to be good and actually go to bed a wee bit early...but that just doesn't seem like an option. I originally left the deep hole known as my room at 2 in the morning in search of some rice chex and bananas :) because, let's face it, I am the weirdest girl on the planet! I like eating soup in the morning and cereal at night. My cereal of choice is rice chex :) no sugar, but plenty of awesome! So I was walking to my kitchen when, as usual, the allure of my computer and what's happenin' on facebook was too great! Yes, I am addicted to facebook...oh dear. Anyway, then I began hunting through the blogs of those I know clicking from link to link and thinking to myself, "how on earth do I put their nonsense onto my blog?" Haha, typically, I'm not one to have too many problems on sites like these, but I really can't say I care enough to figure it out on my own! Haha. This site is kind of like a mixture of old school myspace and an even older school xanga! I'm tired of learning all this crap about sites for them to no longer be of use later on! Though this one does seem like it would last a wee bit longer, I'm done cramming my head full of useless site mumbo jumbo :) I have put my technological foot down! (after I wrote this I figured it out :))

I'm currently on the stupid job market...again. Perhaps that's not exactly what it's called when you're only 17 (almost 18...in 26 days) hunting for a part-time job, but I want to feel more official :) Let's see...since this summer I have worked at MotherWise Ministries, LifeWay and Dr. Ahmed's office...great job history, Erin! Bah. I need a solid job. Weird thing: before I stopped working at Dr. Ahmed's office, I felt God saying to me how He didn't want me working there anymore. It really was an awful environment. He told me He wanted me working in a church. Then He told me to call Darren and see if there was a paid intern position. Now, there's the strange part. Last spring I talked to Darren about potentially having a job there and he said there were no jobs to be had. So I told God this (silly me) and He said to ask anyway. Darren said the same thing, but I can't help wonder what God meant. Why did He have me ask if there were no positions? This is all very difficult to recap to myself because I can't understand it...I find myself thinking how silly I am or something. He has to provide a way though, right? Won't He?

Bah. What I do know is He has given me an amazing opportunity to head the girls' retreat coming up in May! I've rounded up Molly Roberts, Taylor Concialdi and Katie Walton to lead it as well :) It's really amazing how God is pulling things together. It will be called Desire and I'm completely thrilled!

Current thought:
"Lord, come with Your fire, burn my desires; refine me. Lord, my will has deceived me, please come and free me; come rescue this child..."
I need to work on laying down my pride for Him. I constantly try to do things myself and I constantly fail. Yah know, I said the other day, "with everything people know about smoking and how awful it is for you, why on earth do people still smoke?!"
Isn't this just like Christians? We constantly say how amazing our God is and how He can carry our every burden, but then we refuse to place it on Him. We know He is our answer, and yet we still "smoke."

Food for thought.
E.