post 100: nostalgia

I'm sitting here in my bed feeling really sad. Thinking about leaving all the friends I love so dearly is so depressing for me. Being happy about leaving feels worse. The closer it gets, the more time I want with my dear friends. More hugs, more laughter, more irreplaceable moments I wish I could freeze and stick in my pocket. Rendered to the point of crying, I know I must let go and allow the change I so desperately crave to continue. I've never had this much trouble leaving friends. Each time I've moved in my life it has been a clean break - a happy break. I wish more than anything I could take each and every one of them with me, but I know it can't and shouldn't happen. As much as it pains me to say this, we need to be apart. We need to grow up and escape this comfortable bubble we all love so dearly. Today has hit me hardest of all. The days are so close, others are showing sadness, and it is tearing me apart. I want us all to be the group that defies the odds. I want us all to remain in contact with one another. It would devestate me if we ended up being like so many before us that know only one or two people they knew in high school still. I know it's kind of unrealistic to hope for, but I know our group is close and different than most. Who knows.

I love, love, love all of you.

Please call, write, text, email - anything.

I'll try to do the same.