Speechless

Today was amazing!

Scratch that, this has been a great week!

Even though I've felt really beat down and tired this week, God has been so close and constant. It has really been wonderful!

Since sophomore year I've felt like God was calling me to ministry, but I haven't been able to pinpoint what He wants me to do with that. I haven't known what area. Originally I felt like I should work with students, or more specifically, girls. Then, I felt like maybe I should go into counseling. My problem: I was looking at what I should do...not what GOD wanted me to do. So I've been praying for clarity and for God to not show me His plan - because it is not my place to know that, nor should I ask - but for Him to open doors and just help me follow Him.

So I didn't know where that would take me, but God started teaching me a lot about myself and Him. He gave me this huge passion for Africa (more specifically Uganda), but I had no clue what to do with it. At first it started as just a general interest and desire to know more, then it increased to me simply wanting to visit. Eventually this passion increased to a physical pull. I feel so drawn there. It's funny, Uganda pops up in every day conversation at least once a day. I'll see a poster, an advertisement, a tshirt, someone will bring it up, etc. Short of a neon sign hanging on my door, God has made it pretty clear :D

I heard a few months ago that if you want to see how awesome God's sense of humor is, tell Him what you can't or don't want to do. Well a few years ago I distinctly remember thinking how I could never handle missions as a full time occupation and ministry because I wouldn't be able to handle living in such poor conditions. I especially didn't want to go to Africa or South America. I like my electricity and clean water. I like having clean surroundings and medicine at my disposal. I like going to sleep knowing I'm safe and secure. I didn't think I could handle living somewhere where the people lived in such poverty.

Then there was the problem of a missionary salary. I've always wanted to support myself and I've wanted to find a job where I could rake in the cash. Now, none of it matters.

Now, it's all I can think about. I feel like I NEED to be there. God has been giving me more and more faith and assurance that I don't need those luxuries I thought were so necessary. Not only has he been teaching me about struggles like this in the Bible, but also in chapel and things like that. I've read things that had a jist of "the poor man will have more pride" and things like that. I've been reading verses about how God will provide for all needs and how you don't need anything but Him. Almost every verse I've read lately has applied to this more than I can ever convey.

So, I'm happy to say that I think I've found where my life might lead. I believe God is calling me to missions :D:D:D

whew. Please continue/start praying with me about this.

God brought this girl into my life from school and she actually lived in Uganda for 6 months last year (soo not a coincidence!) and we might be going to Uganda this summer! So please pray that if this is God's will, we'll get the funds to go and know that it's right.

also, I'm trying to think of a name for my blog. I've played around with a few different names, but I really don't like any of them. Any ideas?

Thanks for reading guys :D

love you! BE HOME TOMORROW