Anyway, self criticism aside, I haven't really had much to say. Camp gave me SOOO much to say. Or rather God gave me so much to say.
God moved in amazing ways this past week. He's so amazing.
He taught me:
- how to truly worship
- how to pray the way I should, not the way I think I should
- that God is my best friend and I can simply talk to Him.
- He gave me a complete passion for His Word. AHHH! I'm so excited!!!
- Proverbs 16:28
I really am just floored by what this camp did in my life...er, what God did through this camp.
This was probably my favorite camp.
Today I was talking to Emily, and we got into something Luke touched on a bit at camp. Basically, our Christian society is totally consumed with what we do - who we are matters very little. This really touched me because of how I've had little/no desire to be at a lot of 249 events this year. Not that I don't want to be in that environment or anything...and I think it's fantastic that we try to reach out to the masses, but I don't feel like we've done enough within ourselves yet to be effective anywhere else. Take ABS, for example: we try so hard to pull others in and make it "visiter friendly" that I really didn't enjoy it this year. I felt like it was just another place I could see the same people I saw at school and talk a bit about God. I feel like we were barely scraping at the topsoil, and I didn't get a lot out of it. If nothing else, it was kind of awkward. Granted, fellowship is wonderful and quite valuable, but we need to get to a point where the soil thickens and we move on from milk. And then since the summer has started, I just needed a break from a lot of 249 activities because, to put it plainly, I was SO burnt out. Church was equated with work. I think this is a valuable lesson for me to learn NOW, since I believe God has a place for me in ministry. Anyway, I took a little break and suddenly my friends were bombarding me with guilt. I mean, REALLY?!?! Why does our Christian society not value WHO YOU ARE in Christ, rather than WHAT YOU DO? I missed the first few bitb and throwdowns this year and suddenly I'm a heathen. Why would I want to start going if it's going to be "ohh, whoa. She actually showed up...shocker." To quote the Black Eyed Peas, "WHERE IS THE LOVE?!?!?!?!?" Are we not supposed to love others? Are we not supposed to show compassion and support? I don't know about you guys, but I have never read "miss an event within your youth ministry and be shunned!" Seriously, guys. Where is the love? Would you say that to a nonbeliever? NO. Well, if you think yes then you're goofy. We need to work on keeping the people we have.
I still have so much to learn, but my God will teach me.
p.s. I'm in a competition to win a macbook pro :D I hope I win!
I love my computer, but a free mac would be so tight <3>
First of all, I agree with you about the ABS thing.
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, let me set the record straight.
You are taking our comments way too seriously! You know how I am: When I mess with people, I'm showing love! If you think that us asking where you've been is us calling you out, you're mistaken. Why can't we ask where you've been? If you think that every time someone asks where you've been it means we're inferring that you haven't spent enough time at church to fulfill our quota to not judge you, then I don't know what to tell you, but you need to calm down about it a bit. I'm sorry for sounding rude. But maybe if you would share why you've not been to church events when we ask you about it we could support you and be compassionate. It's really hard to be compassionate to someone who starts yelling every time they are asked a question.
Please don't think I'm attacking you, I just want you to know what some of us think about that situation.
haha that definitely isn't what I meant.
ReplyDelete"hey, where have you been? I haven't seen you in forever" is DEFINITELY not what I meant. That's totally okay. I do that. I'd be pretty hypocritical if I went off about that. I'm referring to when someone starts talking about an event within a group of our friends and someone turns to me and says, "well, you would know if you ever actually showed up" or something like that. There's a difference when you say something with a mean or condescending spirit, not when you're simply inquiring.
For the record, I've never had a problem with anything* you've said to me.
*in regards to THIS, hahaha ;)
I know the difference between someone messing with me and someone who is just being a jerk.
ReplyDeletemmkay!
ReplyDeleteI would agree with you, but I would also put a little grace into this and (as I always like to do:) find a balance. Something that I've learned this year is that you'll get out of things what you put into it/want to get out of it. Also, I don't think ABS has ever intended to be a time of intense discipleship (not to say that you were saying that, of course - just let me get on my spiel real quick:) - the intention, from what I have seen (not to say that I'm speaking for Darren or Jeremy, of course), is to to provide a non-churchy setting for Lost people to be around Christians (so it's less intimidating), and of course time for some fellowship, which it's hard to get a lot of on Sunday mornings. This fact is the very reason why so much stress this year and this summer has been on finding a Discipleship group, a smaller group of people who can dive deep into the Word, encourage eachother, pray for eachother, etc. (like me you Tay and Katie S! We need to meet soon...). I think that if you go into ABS wanting really intense study of the Word, you're going to not get out of ABS what you are supposed to, or at least what you would be ABLE to get out of it. I don't feel like I really did my "job" this year at ABS because I could never get friends to come. I should have been more intentional about inviting lost people, because it became clearer towards the end of the year (and especially with the Reach Weeks) that that is the heart of ABS, along with plain fellowship.
ReplyDeleteBut I do agree with you about simply "doing things" - this is a trap with anything churchy. But, as I said before, there needs to be a balance - you have to go into events intending to get something out of it. Obviously, if I am going to church things just because I feel like I should or am expected to or whatever, that's not good. But there is a flip side - just as people shouldn't condemn you for not going to every single event the church holds, people should also not condemn people for going to every event the church holds. It's all about motive. And, as my dad tells me, if you burn out, you have to ask yourself what fuel you were burning on. If you are filling yourself up with Christ and the Word and doing things for His glory, you won't burn out. If you go to please others and to meet some kind of expectation (which, hello, I am like the most guilty of, or at least have been in the past ) then you are going off of fuel of the flesh, and you will of course burn out. I'm not trying to point any kind of finger ('cause it seems like you've kind of figured this out already:), I'm just kind of statement my opinion, from lots of experience and years of after a while going, "why am I doing the things that I'm doing?".
In any case....*steps down from soap-box*
Love you girl! Let's meet soon!
ok. I feel like I have a lot to say about this...so just bear with me ;)
ReplyDeleteI feel like a lot of what ABS is (like Molly already said) is about what you put in to it. The reason I loved ABS so much (along with the rest of BD) was because we really made an effort to dig DEEP in to the Word. We had a blast having fellowship with one another and being goofy, but we also really grew in our understanding of God and Scripture and in accountability with one another. Looking back, I realize we were NOT as missional/intentional as we should have been about inviting people, but I feel like it was exactly what we wanted it to be (not necessarily what it was intended to be). What I mean by all of that is that if true discipleship and intense Bible study is what you desire then you need to find a way to make it happen. The Great Commission has two parts...reach out to lost people AND make them in to disciples. If you ignore either part of that, or you aren't being true to it. Churches need events that reach out to lost people, and things that cater to people that are already Christians...BUT if one of those things isn't happening, then I think the responsibility falls on to the Christian to make things happen! To sit back and just scorn a particular outreach or quit going to things isn't a solution. If you don't like part of your church then you need to make something happen. Don't get enough discipleship? Form a small group. Lost people aren't being reached? Make it a point to live missionally and start mission outreaches.
I think I understand your frustration, but I think you really need to make an effort to fulfill these desires (because digging deeper in to the Word is a GOOD thing!)...especially if you think God is calling you in to ministry! Ministry isn't about "doing" things, it's about reaching people with the good news of Christ and then disciplining them. It's a two-part process. Both are equally important.
In regards to people "attacking" you, I think you need to look at it from a different standpoint. I'm sure they could have been more delicate or careful with their words, but accountability isn't always fun. If Marie or Lauren started to chose not to go to church events I would probably be on their case because it stems from a deeper problem. God calls us to be faithful, even when we don't feel like it. You choosing not to go, is a direct reaction to "feeling burnt out", not liking events, etc. Your involvement shouldn't be purely about emotion. Everyone has things they like and things they don't about their church/ministry/etc. I may be wrong here, but (as Marie so eloquently put it) "when you stop going to church events because you're feeling burnt out, what an opportunity for Satan to attack you!". I understand taking a break when you are in need of restoration or reflection, but you need to be careful about what you define as a break.
P.S. I don't mean to sound harsh, I'm just really passionate about this, and since you are planning on going in to ministry I think you can handle it. I love NW and I feel like if you think there is a problem, it should be addressed instead of rebelled against, ya know? Anyways, don't hate me ;)
haha I'm definitely not rebelling, I was just stating my opinion on my blog, haha. I thought I was entitled to that ;)
ReplyDeleteand our abs was sooo different. we were constantly distracted and I always felt we stuck so much to the papers and were so concerned with the next blank to be filled that we lost what we were supposed to be getting. I know I made mistakes with this, but I can assure you I'm not the only one that felt this way this year.
It's not that I didn't feel like going to a lot of things. A lot of the outside things I've been grounded for, sick or whatever. Things have come up, and no, I haven't exactly made the largest effort as far as pushing through them goes, but I needed to make my being there for the right reasons. I fully believe God can work through and in you wherever His word is spoken, but if I'm not totally there mentally, much less paying attention (part of this is a direct reaction to some medicine I'm taking :/ but I'm trying to get off it!) I might as well be sitting in the middle of a field staring at a worm. haha I don't know where the worm came from, but you get the point.
Another reason I distanced myself for a bit was because I quit mediashout to learn how to be an audience member, but I was lost still. What most people don't realize, while being involved is important, but running the tech makes it SO hard to truly pay attention. during prayer, you're preparing for the next thing. We are working through every second of the service. It's SOO hard. I had to quit because I had lost the ability to pay attention fully. I know this sounds like a cop out, but it was between God and I.
Bottom line: you're supposed to keep one another accountable in love. Approaching someone in a condescending manner will get you no where but ignored, or the other person will be so focused on your tone and the offense rather than the intention.
I'm all for accountability, but I'm not for tearing people apart.
It doesn't matter what your intention is. I'm sitting here telling you how it makes people feel. Why continue?! seriously.
this is my last comment. I'm sick of saying the same thing over and over again.